Loss...

Just few days back, I lost good friend of mine.
That made me question my self a bit,
Why don't I feel anything.

I've been asking that question for a while now, ever since I experienced loss for the first time, back in 2010 It was my uncle.

I used to be very close to him, (that's what my parents tell me) , he was a few only years older than my dad,the middle of three brothers.
I remember the days when I used to jump in his '98 caprice, along with my cousin's, and go shopping.
Then on September 21st of 2010, he disappeared.

But, I had no reaction to it. Just a normal day.

Next, it was my grandfather (dad's side), again I was very close to him. He was honorary captain, when ever I walk around the area near my place in Kerala with my dad, I hear his stories,
September 10th 2011, Onam day, gone

Again, no reaction.

Grandma was just the best, she used to hate it every time even a spec of dust is in the house.
She used to love cleaning, even till the last moment.
June 2013,

And then the favourite of grand dad's,(mom's side).
This one was the first time I went for the funeral.
Even tho the body was right there, I felt very little.
November 2013.

This might make me look like some person who doesn't care for the people who were near and dear to me, trust me, I do care.
I used to push the thought away, thinking it's just me hiding the tears, but this time, i just don't know.

Different people take loss in different ways.
Or thats what I think.

Stay strong.

rest in peace Rohan Alva.
Love you bro, no homo.

See you later
-Aniru