Fear (of uncertainty)

5 years ago I lost my confidence, I started thinking way too much, which led to doubt, which later led to me becoming an introvert. 

Is what I believe, because for some reason or another, that chapter of my life is missing.

I was never bothered by it, it was necessary, but there’s not a lot I need to remember.

But then recently, because of a series of events, I changed, a lot.

I colored my hair blond, (yes I did that before, but this time I didn’t color it back when I went to college) I started taking the first step for everything, I basically got my confidence back.

But then someone came along with my confidence,

Something that never bothered me in 20 years.

Uncertainty.

Yay I got to the title.

But yeah, I’ve been afraid of not knowing what’s happening next.

I obviously have my techniques, pre-planning or taking precautions just in case, but I can’t do that with every, single, thing, in, my, life.

So a lot of the times, I just live with the fear.

It’s no cause of alarm, everyone is afraid of something, of the future, of what it holds, it’s just that some of us are better at hiding it, no no, not from others, but ourselves.

In conclusion, (I know I don’t write these)

Fear drives us, it’s a part of our core, it’s something that we can never get rid of, so learn to embrace it, in your own way, don’t push it away, it just wants a little attention, I bet it feels lonely.

And on that note, 

See you later!

-Aniru

P.s. This was one of those “I sit in toilet, and I got inspiration” kinda post, I also felt like the last time I wrote about fear, it wasn’t concluded well, you could say I left a lot of loose ends, so it felt right to revisit it, tie everything up.